Relaxing ...

Saturday, May 15, 2010Y

upon a fren's request, ive decided 2 update my blog again...

Recent updates:

yup im currently studying in SIM... into my final year..

I will be graduating this year-end.

Im still quite the same throughout,

didnt grew any taller.

Next important update is that... im no longer a big DBSK Fan..

well, i still support them la, but juz not tt much anymore.

My new idol??

SHINEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been 2 their fan-sign, fan-meet session, as well as the Singapore E awards 2 watch their performances.

My main fave color is still red though im showing signs of liking blue as well~

and yup, i still emo once in a while, but i think tt's juz normal now.

..................................................................................................

Moving on, ive got myself a FB account finally after like tons n tons of persuasion.

And I dunno 4 wadever god noes reason, the past few days, ive been having internet stalkers!!

seriously, i dunno y in the blue hell had some random ppl sending me an in-flux of scary 'harassing-like' e-messages...

but im trying 2 grab a hold on myself n try 2 ignore them as much as possible.

Also, ive reached the age where i start attending my fren's wedding banquet O-RE-DI!

like old only!!!!

The thing is 22 doesn't sound old to me, though it doesn't sound tt young as well.

Well, i juz trying 2 kill some time here by updating bullshit stuff about me.

Except for the things mentioned, everything else is held constant.

and yup, i noe im still at the dinosaur age, using blogger.

My sis has been asking me 2 start my tumblr...

yeh yeh, will try it.... some other time.

ciaoz~

ends at 9:52 PM

Friday, October 23, 2009Y

Im a freaking sore loser, period!
competitive streak??
NO!!
ive got no desire to win.
i just hate to lose...
that's all.....

ends at 7:39 PM

Wednesday, October 07, 2009Y

Bashing on my blog is one way to allow me to vent my frustrations.
Im having multiple thoughts right now...
but the problem is i dunno wad im thinking about.
all i noe is i im thinking about alot of stuff and its making me losing my sleep.
funny how one can keep thinking about stuff without knowing wad izzit...
maybe its just a sign that my brain is feeling tired and sleepy yet m stil awake?
im feeling so moody recently.
Not because something unpleasant happened to me or whatsoever.
I just don't feel any vibe in me...
no life... no nothing...
everyday passes by so smoothly..
my life's normal...
in fact, my life's too normal...
nothing interesting, nothing keeps me work hard for it...
nothing i wanna achieve despite how much i wanna achieve something.
I guess,
that's my life.
Unlike my sister, who's always having a mind of her own,
having fun and living her life interesting..
what am i?

ends at 2:04 AM

Monday, October 05, 2009Y

Have not been updating my blog for quite some time...
feeling abit moody today.
been trying real hard not to allow myself to be convinced by others that im dumb..
but sometimes, the words ppl say can hurt..
and they do hurt real bad.
what seemed like a joke to them is completely invisible to the pain i feel inside.
not that i cant take jokes,
just that i do take people's words seriously.
all the annoying comments people joked about me is making me feel like im really stupid afterall.
i hate this feeling, of being convinced by others that they are right about who i am.
But even if im clumsy, stupid and dumb,
it makes no sense to allow myself to wallow upon other people's ignorance.
im trying real hard to stay smart, not that im really stupid.
But even my sis is always correcting me, it is really irritating.
its not that i don't care,
but some things are just hard to comprehend...
the more you think about it, the sadder u'll feel...
so its better to feign ignorance once in a while;
not knowing the answer is better than being shocked and worrisome at what the truth will be...
and since its hard to comprehend, why bother to try and understand it?
i rather ignore them.
At least, it saves me from feeling disappointed...
...............................................................................................................
exams are round the corner.
Mum says ive been wasting money.
she's been nagging at me none stop!
not coz i spend alot or buy alot of stuff,
but coz i skipped quite a number of lectures and its giving her the heartache.
The heartache of wasting the explosive tution fees for the course.
what to do?
been trying to convince her that even if i were to turn up for lectures,
i cant guarantee that i will learn smth at all;
SO;
what's the point of going in the first place rite?
might as well stay at home, save the effort to leave house,
and save on transport fees as well.
Bad logic, i know...
but it definitely sounds 100% logical to me....
OT assignment 1 results out;
not good.....
could have done better.
hopefully i'll do better nxt tym.
ciaoz~

ends at 12:42 AM

Thursday, September 03, 2009Y

i don't wanna grow up........ -period-
if growing up means growing fatter!!!
if growing up means growing older n older...
if growing up means must go and work.
if growing up means must take care of the family..
if growing up means i have to work hard to earn money to survive.
if growing up means i have to get married someday.
if growing up means i hae to leave my parents when im married...
THEN... who wants to grow up afterall?????
tell me abt it!

ends at 9:24 PM

Friday, August 28, 2009Y

Sometimes....
i juz wanna run away from the unreasonable home...
sometimes.....
the ones that disappoint me the most... are the ones that love me the most...
sometimes.....
the ones that make me angry are the ones that i care for the most....
sometimes....
the ones that make me feel real stress out and irritated.... are the ones that i supposedly love the most...
sometimes the ones that make me feel sad are the ones that supposedly care for me the most...
and sometimes....
the warmest place on earth can be the coldest place to be at home...
The ones.....
are non other than... my own family members...
and the shitty feelings happen when...
ur siblings don't show u respect...
ur parents always tell u how bad they are doing... and u cant do anything to help at all.
ur mum always have negative thinking and much as u tell her dont say such things, she stil do...
ur brother who always flare up so easily disregarding u as an elder sibling and there's no way he listens to u...
ur sister keeps making fun of u....
ur home.. needs ur help coz ure the eldest!
u wanna do things but have to always think of ur home 1st..
and becoz ure the eldest... everything good shud be left for the younger ones...
and becoz ure the eldest, ure obliged to help at home..
and becoz ure the eldest, u shud be the nxt breadwinner and dont disturb ur younger siblings who are still schooling...
and becoz ure the eldest, u shud always give in 1st even in arguments...
and becoz ure the eldest, u shudnt worry ur parents...
CRAP ALL THE BEING ELDEST LARH!!!!!!!!
I DONT WANNA BE THE ELDEST!!!!!!!!
but like i can choose.............................. :(

ends at 2:08 AM

Tuesday, August 25, 2009Y

Does the 'emo' blood runs in every human being?
if not, then why is it that even the most bubbly person can be extremely emo too?
Maybe this is what distinguish us from animals.
Depression, emo, stress....
don't think it occurs to animals...
Haiz.....................................................
This stupid feeling juz come so suddenly like a sneeze.
Reading old letters...
Looking at old photos...
Thinking of the past...
One don't feel lonely because u miss someone or some things...
Rather, beacuse u missed that someone or some things that u feel lonely...
Be positive?
acknowledging what has happened had happened is really difficult.
Sometimes, its so difficult to forget certain things..
Just like how u wanna let go and blame urself 4 not being able to do it after that...
Just like how much u dislike someone who was close to you but u stil care...
Just like how u think its impossible to go back yet you still wanna...
and just like how i said before that i nvr gonna blog again yet reproach myself for still doing it....
Haiz.......
Hate these sucky feelings...
hate what im feeling rite now...
having sleepness nites the past few days...
partly assignments...
partly.... something else....
if only the monsoon period can blow my sorrows away...
might as well blow me far away too~

ends at 2:31 AM