Relaxing ...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008Y

Begone emo status..

haha..

im feeling kinda tired rite now..

but but..

i've thought thru the whole ting..

its no use venting my fustrations on my parents..

i tink..

maybe i shud realli welcome my 20th years old..

i dunno wad i will face in life in the near future..

perhaps i will still be as short (p.s i doubt i'll grow anymore..)

perhaps i will still be as childish (p.s i tink tt cant change..)

perhaps i will remain jobless till lyk 24 yrs old or older.. (p.s i scared i will..)

perhaps i will juz mit a nice n rich boyfren hu wants 2 marry me.. (p.s yea, my wishful tinking..)

perhaps i will remain single thruout.. (p.s its not a bad ting rite?? at least no ppl 2 tie me down..)

there will be many tings i will face in life..

these tings are ever so unpreditable..

and maybe even..

few years down the road..

when i went 4 a gathering..

frens will start 2 tell me where they work..

and i'll still be a part tymer, job hopper..

and maybe anthr few years, anthr gathering..

frens will start 2 tell me hu n hu is getting engaged..

den maybe anthr few years anthr gathering..

frens tell me they married le..

den anthr gathering,

frens tell me which sch their kids go to...

and woala... im still single n doesnt even have a stable job..

might seem lyk im imagining.. but..

wad if it turns out lidat 4 me??

haha..

i tink, i tink too much..

so bottomline is..

i tink for now..

im gonna do wadever tings i like..

but at the moment,

i will settle my new house stuff first..

once move in le..

and realli settled, i will start 2 find job n den do tings i realli liked..

to those hu showed lots concerns..

i realli thank you all alot alot!!!

have a happy n smooth year ahead too~

and...

my dad is getting more n more 'irritating'..

oops..

not good 2 badmouth but still..

IM ALRDY A BIG GAL..

STOP TREATING ME LYK A LIL KID N ORDER ME ARND!!!!!!!

whew~

k box on thurs and fri...

ciaoz~~

ends at 12:42 AM

Monday, March 24, 2008Y

Happy Birthday to me...

a moment ago..

i almost screw up my bday celebration at my grandma hous..

i can swear tt this is my 1st tym crying during one..

all along, ive celebrated so many birthdays at my grandma hous..

none of it is as worse as 2day..

not bcos im touched or wad..

but bcos im angry..

im angry at my parents..

and for the 1st tym..

im angry for my new house!!!

its bcos of my new house tt..

everyone is paying attention 2 it..

esp my dad hu was so worked up abt the entire "move house" ting..

tt i feel tt they actually overlooked smth impt..

and turning 20 is smth realli freaky..

i tink i have phobia 4 it..

coz i cried lyk dunno how many tyms b4 this day finally arrived..

to share wif everyone..

its realli scary 2 tink..

when u reach 20..

ure no longer a kid..

responsibilities n duties comes in..

once u made a mistake..

it can cause a scar..

where forgiveness is realli difficult..

and it is where u have 2 be fully responsible for almost everything besides urself..

tinking of tis made me feel so freaked out..

and as i grew older, bday celebrations at my grandma hous..

becomes simpler n simpler..

the feeling is so different..

even if time were 2 revert back..

things are no longer the same anymore..

and i resented my parents 4 overlooking tis feeling of mine 2day..

which is why..

i weeped while i was preparing sandwitches 2 serve the guests.. (my relatives..)

b4 tt..

we were stil out buying some stuff 4 the new house..

and we got back so late..

i hardly have enuff tym 2 prepare the sandwitches i promised i'll do..

and i literally started preparing the snacks when all my cousins n relatives came..

i invited them 2 come at 7 for the food..

but at 7.30pm, im stil preparing the sandwitches..

some adults may say im too sensitive..

but..

they realli didnt noe how i realli feel..

i dont need any presents..

i juz need ppl 2 acknowledge tt im turing older..

for asking this..

am i realli tt selfish?

i dunno why am i behaving so strangely these days..

i tried 2 find ppl 2 talk 2..

but those tt i msg..

they are busy..

i tink, God is testing me..

but, he has successfully made me feel so miserable n helpless..

i wanted 2 go out 2ml..

realli stay out of house til late at nite..

but..

everyone else i msg..

is busy..

i guess its juzmy bad luck..

and dun worry peeps, im not resenting u all..

im juz scared.. tts y..

i guess tts y sometimes,

when a kid realli grows older..

birthdays...

are becoming less important afterall..

im gonna induldge myself in my youtube 4 now..

ciaoz~

ends at 12:10 AM

Saturday, March 22, 2008Y

A realli random n boring entry 2day..

if ure not interested in boring stuff..

u can choose not 2 read..

Alot of people encourages me..

and told me 2 look on the bright side of life..

people say..

at the end of a long dark tunnel..

there will always be an exit..

where u will see the lights again..

for every human being,

their lives will start to diverge at certain age..

that's when u'll meet lots of obstacles..

barriers to life..

but when will i see my light at the exit?

maybe my tunnel is realli long..

tears are no longer enough 2 help me shed some burden..

why cant i have a better life??

when can i allow my parents 2 live a better life?

why izzit tt coz im the eldest, i have 2 let??

why izzit tt coz im the eldest, i have 2 sacrifice tings tt i like..

for tings tt i dun like..

juz 2 make others happy??

why izzit tt i have 2 bear the biggest burden frm the family..

coz im the eldest??

why cant my parents have good luck?

why cant good luck befall on us??

why izzit tt i can never accomplish smth great?

why izzit tt i always complain?

why izzit tt im so irritating?

why do i always behave so emo-ly?

why do lives in drama always appear 2 be better than real life?

why izzit people cant go thru wadever it is in dramas?

why izzit tt people always dun understand me tt well even though they claim they do?

why izzit tt i always fail 2 express how i feel and cause a problem instead?

why izzit tt i always dun mean wad i said but i stil said it out?

why izzit tt conversations wif my mum always end up a quarrel?

why izzit tt i always didnt get wad i wanted coz i nvr had good luck?

why izzit tt even though i always complain abt my family members yet i dun realli wan 2 badmouth them?

why izzit tt even though i hated backstabbers, but sometimes i tend 2 do so too??

and i realli hate myself 2 be in the same actegory as them..

W.H.Y??

why izzit tt 2day's entry is an extreme case??

wads happening 2 me....??

like i said, its a boring n random entry..

for those hu read till this far..

i thank you for tt..

haiz..

ciaoz~

ends at 12:15 AM

Monday, March 17, 2008Y

part time working in progress..

shagged till i dunno wad 2 say..

stupid flu..

freaking runny nose..

Zzz..

my birthday is cuming..

but..

i dunno wad shud i do..

or rather, i dunno wad i wanna do..

haiz..

maybe spend my birthday wif my family as usual again bah..

nth special~

ciaoz~

ends at 10:11 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2008Y

hey hey..

i shall update wad we did on the 11th Mar..

last tues we went Sentosa..

the weather is juz not on our side..

its raining almost the entire day..

but but..

we did not let the rain affect our precious time there..

and i was surprised tt they celebrated my bday for me too..

coz they told me we are gg 2 celebrate Ju's bday..

and so i thought..

but xue n jess arrived late..

and so, yiyi, ju, wen n i went early 2 book a nice spot first..

but when e two arrived, they brought a cake n said its for me n Ju..

Crystal jade fruit cake.. yummy~

i love those yummy colorful fruits..

and we each brought some food..

i prepared konnyaku jelly n egg sandwiches..

there's sausages (by xue), rice n chicken wings (by ah wen),

fishballs n sotong balls (by jess), erm..

i 4got wad yiyi n Ju brought le..

haha, bad memory..

sorry abt tt..

we had alot of fun at Sentosa even though i met wif some 'prob'..

dun ask me, i wont tell..

haha..

and gals, plssssssss dun say!!! love ya all k..

hehe..

den we left sentosa and into a photo taking frenzy..

i had 2 admit, im so bad at posing..

well, guess tts y im not a poser!!!

aha~

den Ju left us n it was dinner at Superdogs, Vivo..

aftr which, the few of us left had a great tym playing 'donkey- truth/dare'

and its a series of heart-to-heart talk..

and secrets divuldged one by one..

and i truly had the most unforgettable day..

the rain cant stop us frm having our fun..

seriously..

if onli time could stop and be like this..

forever..

well then, pics are all at jess's blog..

i shall pose some up shud i have e tym..

till then..

ciaoz~

ends at 11:37 PM

bored bored..

recently my mind is all on our new house!!!

and and i so wanted 2 have the dream house tt ive always wanted..

but then..

coz of financial restraints, we can onli make the best use out of cheaper alternatives..

tings have not been going well for my family these days..

hard times for my mum n dad.

tough times, especially when renovating a new house need lots of money..

which we dont have..

and the money im saving for my japan trip..

i guess in time 2 cum, i have 2 contribute to my parents as well.

and im realli afraid tt i have 2 giv up my wish 2 go japan le..

haiz haiz..

why izzit tt when i have the tym,i dun have the money..

and when im savinge money and i have the tym..

my new house came at e wrong timing..

and my money saved is not for my japan trip..

rite now im realli lost..

i realli nid a human organiser 2 help me manage my schedule n plans n decisions..

if possible, manage my life for me too..

life is..

so tiring..

can i be selfish for once??

tt is, can i have my birthday wishes to come true??

do you tink God permits??

well, i doubt so..

well then..

ive realli gotta tink hard wad 2 do..

till then.. ciaoz~

and dun worry, im alrite..

(in case ppl tink i nid 2 talk.. haha.. xiao cai, im realli ok u noe..

im quite shock why u will tink i nid 2 talk sia.. hehe.. but thx anw..)

ends at 12:40 AM

Monday, March 10, 2008Y

haiz haiz..

im having dis weird feeling rite now..

yes! Ms Ho Charlene..

she's got no ambitions...

she doesnt noe wad she wanna do..

to work???

to study uni??

and even if she decide 2 wait..

and yet having the desire to study in uni..

she's not doing anything...

NOTHING AT ALL..

juz plain waiting..

haiz haiz..

(*back to reality*)

yup..

im facing such a situation rite now..

shud i decide to work..

i shud have sent out my resumes alrdy..

but yet i didnt..

shud i decide 2 further my studies..

i shud have sent in my application b4 the datelines..

but yet i didnt do so..

so so so!

im halfway thru No-where..

can someone please help me??

i feel lyk playing and resting until im satisfied..

coz i tink i deserve it..

prob after July den i go find a job??

is tt a bad decision?

haiz!! i dunno larh!!!

in the mean time..

im brushing up my jap a lil..

hopefully if i realli cant find a job..

i shall go be a tour guide..

kk..

anyone hu noes wad 2 do..

or wad shud i do..

pls help me okie?

till then..

ciaoz~

ends at 11:39 PM

Saturday, March 08, 2008Y

vroom vroom..

looks lyk my engine didnt realli stop 2 rest after all exams..

im working part tym these days..

tired.. but fun..

looking at all those lil kids trying 2 fork out wadever money they have..

juz 2 buy smth frm us..

and dropping all those coins..

how cute..

and i so love the timing..

frm 8am-3pm..

yes, tiring 2 have 2 wake up so early..

but work ends very fast..

but still..

i finally can rest awhile while waiting 4 the nxt assignment..

for the past few days..

its busy yet fun..

go work in e morning..

meet frens go movie aftr work..

den evening go new hous 2 paint my walls..

and im so excited 2 move in alrdy..

the movies i watched within these few days..

L Change The World.. (*L so cute!!!)

Prescepolis (erm... not my tyme of movie..)

Jumper.. (* Jaden is Hot!!! oh, i lyk tt griffin guy too!)

The Leap Years (*The most romantic and touching show ive seen... and Wong Lilin is super

uber hot can!!!

jealous-)

and more 2 come..

and im gg sentosa nxt few days too..

gonna meet my OO6 darlings..

and gg out wif my lovelies meli n xiao cai soon too..

busy schedules lining up..

and i realli gg broke soon..

wondering if i can realli save enuff for my trip 2 japan..

haiz haiz..

the most i go borrow frm ah long..

hahaha..

k bah..

my birthday's cuming..

and i keep askin my mum how am i gonna meet it..

haiz..

SO OLD LE!!!

anw anw..

i so wanna get 东方神起's T album sia..

wait til i receive my pay den see how first..

kk, ciaoz~

ends at 11:10 PM

Wednesday, March 05, 2008Y

though abit slower than the rest to announce..

but but..

SCHOOL IS OVER...

as in literally O.V.E.R!

anw anw..

i asked meli 2 help me find part tym job..

but i didnt expect 2 be so soon..

the day after the last paper!!!

wth~

and i tot i can slp more..

coz of the work, i hafta wake up at 6.15am!!!

and its until 2ml..

and i realli tot i can rest enuff first den work de..

sian half!!

anw anw..

aftr work 2day..

went 2 mit MELODY ちやん。。

and i did smth tt i will nvr do in my entire life..

which is smth out of my norm n beyond the kinda tings tt i wil do..

and u noe.. onli one person in this world can influence me tt way!!

that is MELODY CHONG WIN.. (hey hey, i gave u credits..)

we r supposed 2 watch this movie named "prescepolis"or smth..

some animation movie..

tt her cousin's frens claimed "quite nice"..

and 20 minutes into the movie..

i dun even noe wad the hell it is abt..

some communist ting..

some soviet union ting..

i dun even noe wad is the story plot at all sia..

so mel suggest tt we "jump" theatre..

so went left our theatre..

and then went 2 e toilet..

aftr which, we saw a door opened nearby n ppl are gg in..

so so..

we followed in..

and and..

thx 2 mel "jumping" movie, we watched JUMPER in e end..

which was much much much nicer than wad "prescepolis" de!!!

haha..

but aftr the movie i go home le n i tink shes stil gg partying..

i cant afford 2 but coz 2m got work..

oh..

and when i was at outram park station, i wanted 2 go in2 the train but was packed..

and i was somewhere in the middle of the door n outside..

my 1 foot stepped inside n the other is on the platform..

and i tot "die, will kena pushed out, if not kena squeesed by e door"

den suddenly, this pair of hands tug on my arm n pulled me in..

n i saw a nice middle age women smiling and trying 2 get me in..

n she adjusted herself until got a small space for me b4 the door closed nehind me!!

i was "saved.."

haha..

shes so nice..

i stil see some hope in mankind..

and i keep thanking her lor..

and den..

when i reached tiong..

4 dunno wad reason the doors to scan go out de..

onli limited 2 one sia n everyone was in a line but pushing 2 go out first..

i was kena pushed..

and suddenly..

a nice ang mo hu can easliy go out 1st let me go 1st sia..

den he was behind me..

so..

its either 2day my 'ren yuan' very good..

or im very 'cute'..

haha.. if not how cum so many ppl treat me so nice??

haha..

muz be larh..

ok, i tink i talk alot 2day sia..

kk, ciaoz..

to my lovely Melody chong..

i saved ur contact as "My Lovely Mel jiang"

if u noe wad it means..

so dun say i didnt giv u special name afterall..

bye~

ends at 9:58 PM