Im a freaking sore loser, period! competitive streak?? NO!! ive got no desire to win. i just hate to lose... that's all.....
ends at 7:39 PM
Wednesday, October 07, 2009Y
Bashing on my blog is one way to allow me to vent my frustrations. Im having multiple thoughts right now... but the problem is i dunno wad im thinking about. all i noe is i im thinking about alot of stuff and its making me losing my sleep. funny how one can keep thinking about stuff without knowing wad izzit... maybe its just a sign that my brain is feeling tired and sleepy yet m stil awake? im feeling so moody recently. Not because something unpleasant happened to me or whatsoever. I just don't feel any vibe in me... no life... no nothing... everyday passes by so smoothly.. my life's normal... in fact, my life's too normal... nothing interesting, nothing keeps me work hard for it... nothing i wanna achieve despite how much i wanna achieve something. I guess, that's my life. Unlike my sister, who's always having a mind of her own, having fun and living her life interesting.. what am i?
ends at 2:04 AM
Monday, October 05, 2009Y
Have not been updating my blog for quite some time... feeling abit moody today. been trying real hard not to allow myself to be convinced by others that im dumb.. but sometimes, the words ppl say can hurt.. and they do hurt real bad. what seemed like a joke to them is completely invisible to the pain i feel inside. not that i cant take jokes, just that i do take people's words seriously. all the annoying comments people joked about me is making me feel like im really stupid afterall. i hate this feeling, of being convinced by others that they are right about who i am. But even if im clumsy, stupid and dumb, it makes no sense to allow myself to wallow upon other people's ignorance. im trying real hard to stay smart, not that im really stupid. But even my sis is always correcting me, it is really irritating. its not that i don't care, but some things are just hard to comprehend... the more you think about it, the sadder u'll feel... so its better to feign ignorance once in a while; not knowing the answer is better than being shocked and worrisome at what the truth will be... and since its hard to comprehend, why bother to try and understand it? i rather ignore them. At least, it saves me from feeling disappointed... ............................................................................................................... exams are round the corner. Mum says ive been wasting money. she's been nagging at me none stop! not coz i spend alot or buy alot of stuff, but coz i skipped quite a number of lectures and its giving her the heartache. The heartache of wasting the explosive tution fees for the course. what to do? been trying to convince her that even if i were to turn up for lectures, i cant guarantee that i will learn smth at all; SO; what's the point of going in the first place rite? might as well stay at home, save the effort to leave house, and save on transport fees as well. Bad logic, i know... but it definitely sounds 100% logical to me.... OT assignment 1 results out; not good..... could have done better. hopefully i'll do better nxt tym. ciaoz~
ends at 7:39 PM